I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize