he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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