I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize