Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
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