I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
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Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
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the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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