when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
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He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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