You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize