I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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