when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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