Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
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The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
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I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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