The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize