At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
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its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
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I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Come on in and take your pants off
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