i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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