capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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