After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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