He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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