so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
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Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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