I puked a lego.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
do nipples grow back?
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