Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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