I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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