I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize