I wish I could teleport
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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