when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
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I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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