giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
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letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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