so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
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Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
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A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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