I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize