babies were throwing up all over the place
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize