We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
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Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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