i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
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What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
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He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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