wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
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Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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