I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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