I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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