Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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