it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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