It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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