I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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