farters have to be the big spoon...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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