I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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