I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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