The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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