If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
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