I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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