I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize