Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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