Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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