Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize