No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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