dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
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We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
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I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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