I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize