is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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